Joke Skill Thread!

[Woutsie]

Nice thread, nice idea

From the movie 300:
"Come and get them!"
"Tonight we dine in hell!"
"Blasphemy!"

[OI-812]

Originally Posted by Hawkeye

Feign death (15 energy) - Elite Enchantment. Sacrifice 100% health. For 10 seconds, you cannot be resurrected. At the end of Feign Death, your life is restored as it was when Feign Death was cast without death penalty.
(Another one I'd like to see implemented.. you'd probably wonder what use it'd have, but if you're about to die, this could prove quite handy).

Hello, new Assassin skill

[Evilsod]

Holy Hand Grenade (15e), Throw a slow moving explosive towards Target foe. Upon impact the grenade explodes, causing 15-165 damage to all creatures nearby. (smiting prayers)

It appears if this is used on a Rabbit on the Factions pre-island it spawns the Black Beast of AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH.

[OI-812]

Originally Posted by Evilsod

Holy Hand Grenade (15e), Throw a slow moving explosive towards Target foe. Upon impact the grenade explodes, causing 15-165 damage to all creatures nearby. (smiting prayers)

It appears if this is used on a Rabbit on the Factions pre-island it spawns the Black Beast of AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH.

What about the one in Pre-Sear, on the top of the hill overlooking the little town just outside the Abbey?

[Evilsod]

You wouldn't be able to unlock it for use in pre-searing

[OI-812]

This isn't really a "skill" per se, but I didn't think it merited a thread of its own...

Make it so that you can get drunk and then Plague Touch your drunkenness onto an enemy player.

[Lyssas]

"A Swallow?!" (10e) (Tactics) A coconut drops on target foes head, leaving it dazed until it types "european" in chat.

Animate AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHH (e) (15e) (Death magic) Animates the monster of AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGHH

Playing with fire (5e) (fire magic) There is a 50% chance target foe begin burning for 2...6...8 seconds, if not, you begin burning for 5 seconds.

"This Parrot Is No More!" (10e) (leadership) If target corpse is exploited the exploiter will die instantly.

"Shaken not stirred" (5e) (Strenght) Removes all conditions from you, you suffer from dazed for 10...5...3 seconds.

"You Are No Longer My Son!" (25e) (strenght) Summon King Adelbern who will point at target foe, if you are lucky target foe will feel sad and try to lead his team away from the map, if you are unlucky, target foe will kill Adelbern.

[The Hand Of Death]

Originally Posted by Series

Animate Satan. Elite Spell. Exploit nearest corpse to animate a level (1... 666) Satan. You and all your minions become his minions. (ATT: Death Magic)

I really liked that one.

"I Pwn All"

5 energy 1/4 casting time 0 recharge time

Summon Nuclear ICBM at target location, all allies and foes on the map are set on fire for 20 seconds, knocked down for 10 seconds, suffer 1000 fire damage, and suffer from radiation sickness (-10 health and 4 energy degen) for the rest of their charactes life. Effects are reduced depending on range from ground zero and ground zero remains radioactive for the remainder of the game.

(must have access to Abbadon's nuclear stockpile to get this skill)

[Evilsod]

Rambo (25e), For 15-90 seconds you become immune to all conditions apart from Bleeding and gain 95% damage reduction. Your arrows kill targets in 1 hit. Whenever a female ally dies, you teleport to there location and perform the /kneel emote, when this emote ends, you kill target foe using an Explosive Arrow. (expertise)

Sorry... i couldn't be bothered to include clearing the Ruins of Surmia prison camps using an Attack Helicopter

[Puebert]

"This is Madness!"

Target foe is knocked down and struck with the force of 300 spartans.

[Eldin]

Make sure to read my "I am woman, hear me roar" one!

Protection of Gwen-
5 Energy
1/2 Second Cast Time
12 Second Recharge

Summons an Avatar of Gwen to follow you around. All allies within earshot of the Avatar have all damage they take absorbed by the Avatar. When the Avatar of Gwen dies, an Avatar of Hwen appears to replace it and do the same thing. When it dies, an Avatar of Iwen appears and so on, down through the alphabet to the Avatar of Zwen. Each time a new avatar appears, all party members are healed for 300 health.
-----
"All Your Base are Belong to Us!"-
20 Energy
Instant Cast
40 Second Recharge

Shout. For 10 seconds, all allies gain a +5...8 health regeneration and +3 energy regeneration for each shout upon them (including this one). Maximum 2 shouts (it's IMBA enough!). This skill recharges instantly if more than two people are affected by it.
-----
Signet of Helplessness-
No Energy Cost
1 Second Cast Time
19 Second Recharge

Signet. All foes within compass range are Blinded, Crippled, Dazed, Poisoned, and set on Fire for 20 seconds. For each foe affected, one random ally is given the same ailment. Basically a big war to see who can tank the degen better. Hope you brought condition removal!
-----
"I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar!"-
8 Energy
Instant Cast
5 Second Recharge

Shout (only affects user). If you are a woman, you gain +8 health regeneration, +50 armor, +2 energy regeneration, a 33% speed boost, and your attack rate is doubled. If you are a man, you suffer from -8 health regeneration, take double damage, suffer from exhaustion each time you attack, lose the ability to move, and have a 10% chance to die of a liver failure immediately after usage. This skill lasts until you pay 7 platinum to Eldin or gain 10,000 "Begging and Crying for Mercy" faction.
-----
"I Don't Think We're in Kansas Anymore"-
20 Energy
3 Second Cast Time
1 Second Recharge

Spell. If you are in Kansas, you are teleported out and placed in one of the other 49 states at random. If you have a pet with you, you gain 10 energy.

[Bazompora]

Hot Shot 2 (Bow Attack):If you have a feathered animal companion adjacent to you, your shot moves your companion to target foe's position. This attack cannot be evaded and instantly kills target foe if it hits.

[Hyper.nl]

"Crash"

Crash active server. All players lose their connection. This skill causes banning.

[NinjaKai]

Avatar of Wicked Witch - For 90 seconds you become a wicked witch. You gain the ability to automatically summon 1 flying monkey whenever you kill a foe. Flying monkeys die when this skill ends. You take double damage from cold damage and triple damage from water magic spells.

[dsnesnintendo]

Avatar of Noobie: For 15...60 seconds you are enchanted with mending and have a permanent fire storm at your location, but all your ressurest skills are disabled

Madness Combat: For 10-24 seconds whenever a foe tries to attack you with physical damage you grab that foes weapon and kill them.

"Save Me Jebus": Jebus shadow steps to your location and all nearby allies are resurrected except the ugly ones

Avatar of DOMO-KUN: For a s*** load of seconds you are Domo-Kun. You can not be damaged and anyone trying to damage you is lame and takes 700 damage for every second they were attacking you

Animate Anet staff: Exploit target corpse to create a level 8 staff member. Minion doesn't attack for 40 seconds and then only to little monsters.(jk anet does a good job)

"Go TO HELL": Target foe goes to hell

"WHAT THE S*** TACO JUST HAPPENED MAN": ALL Health is reverted back to what it was 20 seconds ago.

Ping your build(disguise): You ping a good build but are still equipped with your crappy build.

"PUG ME": Seven random people are teleported to your location.(from anywhere)

Wariowear: All treasure chests shadowstep to your location.

Head Shot: target foe is blinded and knocked down.

Goomba time: All your attacks are changed to jump on head.

[McMullen]

"YOUR LANGUAGE IS SILLY!" (Shout)
5 Energy
10 Secs Recharge
Leadership
--
For 5...20 seconds, target foes language is set to BORK! BORK! BORK! and each time target foe uses a skill it is automatically called out.

"Look! An Eagle!" (Shout)
5 Adrenaline
Tactics
--
If target foe is using a skill, that skill is interrupted and target foe is knocked down by the next 1...3 attacks.

Nature Calls (Spirit)
10 Energy
3 Secs cast time
60 Secs recharge
--
Nature Ritual, For 35...160 seconds all creatures in range run off for a toilet break at random intervals.

Fun..

[Henchman]

"Gylph of Even Lesser Energy":
Costs 5 energy.
Your next spell costs 5 less energy to cast.

"Keystone Signet" {E}
All of your signets, excpet keystone signet become recharged...
Oh wait.... they have that one already... well its still funny...

[OI-812]

Originally Posted by Henchman

"Keystone Signet" {E}
All of your signets, excpet keystone signet become recharged...

^^^He wins the thread.

[Thomas.knbk]

Originally Posted by holymasamune

I don't think these skills are meant to be balanced kinda like that auto-infuse skill ^^

I know. I just thought the idea of making your opponent deal 4x damage if he has any condition removal was kinda funny.

[reddswitch]

Heal Yourself: 5e 1/4c 2r
Enchantment Spell {Healing Prayers}
Orison of Healing replaces a random skill whenever target other ally suffers from a conditon or hex.

Slippery when Wet: 15e 1c 30r
Elite Ward Spell {Water magic}
Create a ward of Slippery when Wet at your current location. For 10...30 seconds non spirit creatures are knocked down each time they move.

Feeling Pretty: 15e, 1c, 25r
Elite Hex Spell {Illusion magic}
The skillbar of target foe and foes in the area is disabled for 10 seconds. For 5...30 seconds target foe and foes in the area are blinded, dazed and weakened.

"Fear my Might!": 8a
Elite Shout {Strength}
For 1...10 seconds you attack 50% faster and gain +1 strength for each foe dispatched.